The Butterfly

by Jane Killingbeck--


Last night I was painting my living room, pushing the brush up into the dark corners where the ceiling beams lodge into the stone of the wall; there was a fluttering, and to my horror I realised I had daubed a butterfly with paint… she must have been there dozing away on the beam.

I have many butterflies sit out the winter in the shadowy recesses of this old house, and have in fact been liberating them as they come to life and flutter at the windows on warm days, so it was no surprise that a butterfly should be there, but I was overcome with remorse.

At first I thought there was no saving her, but as she landed on the floor in an ungainly way, I could see she was still very much alive; I had not damaged her with the brush, beyond the painting of her.

And then I remembered this is organic paint, which may not harm her irrevocably, and maybe it would be possible to get that paint off the poor creature; so I carefully cupped my hands around her, as she futilely flapped her wings, and brought her to the kitchen sink.

I ran the tap at a dribble, and found the soft paint brush I use as a pastry brush; wetting it, I gently brushed her, and the paint began to come away from her fluttering wings and then from her body... it took time, and I was afraid of making her so wet that she wouldn't recover, so it was all a matter of delicacy, of intuition, and of luck.

She was blessed; by the time I had finished she looked well enough, and I left her on the warm storage heater in my sitting room, on a tea towel, to hopefully dry off.

Which sometime later she did, fluttering up onto my jumper, as I sat there writing, at my computer.
I was delighted indeed, and brought her over to the windowsill to perch (do butterflies perch?) on the blackthorn blossom and primroses that were arranged in the little blue Limoges vase my daughter had given me for my birthday, safely behind the curtains, so that she wouldn't kill herself batting against the electric lamp.
I went to bed smiling.

But that butterfly was seemingly ill-fated. This afternoon as I sat drinking tea, and sunbeams fell glancing through the window onto the table, I remembered the butterfly. I went into my sitting room to see if she was still there. I found her, not on the flowers but on the frame of the window, all tangled up in a cobweb; the doom of many wintering butterflies, as there are also many spiders in my house, and as fast as I de-cobweb windows, they busily re-web them.

So again I went to the rescue: she was still alive and struggling, as I gently pulled at the webs attached to her legs and feelers, which had imprisoned her there at the window. It is all too easy to pull a delicate leg or feeler off with the cobweb, so strong are those gossamer threads, but finally a slightly tattered small tortoiseshell butterfly with part of a wing missing (that must have been due to an earlier mishap!) and still evidence of cream-coloured paint on her wings, was ready to leave.

I brought her outside into the sunny afternoon and her wings shivered and trembled, as I softly detached her feet from my finger and left her on a primrose in one of my flowerpots, to relish her freedom... I waited and watched as she got herself ready, and then flew away into her destiny.